What is a trigger?

Meagan Hammer
Apr 22, 2020
3 min read

Someone in the trauma support group asked the question, "what is a trigger" recently. I thought it was an excellent topic to discuss since that word is used frequently (sometimes incorrectly) but not usually defined. My recent experience in the grocery store will hopefully perfectly illustrate the definition of a trigger.

What was happening on the outside

At the end of my shopping session, I headed to the self check-out of the grocery store. An item I had picked up was marked with a sale sticker but rang up incorrectly. I grabbed the item and walked up to the supervising employee and explained what happened. Another employee who was talking and lounging next to the desk made an off-hand comment about how I had scanned the wrong barcode. While it was a dumb comment (it was the store's job to properly cover the old barcode sot the item scanned correctly) it wasn't something I would normally think much of or react to. My body had other ideas.

What was happening on the inside

I immediately felt the need to defend myself, felt my body contract, get hot, and I could hear an almost deafening silence as I focused on the person who made the comment (who was now ignoring me). After the employee has made the correction I walked back to my station and resumed scanning. The situation was over but my mind immediately launched into fight mode as I felt myself get angry and the need to attack arose. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened and my reaction to it as I finished the transaction and walked out.

What was actually going on

Since my reaction was not in proportion to the situation, I knew this situation had nothing to do with a slightly ignorant grocery store employee. This was a trigger. The current situation was tipping off my nervous system that this person might be dangerous, based on my past experiences of dealing with other people who make nonsensical comments to me. I asked myself when have I felt this before? When have I felt the need to defend myself followed by hot, angry, tension? My memory immediately came up with the answer.

What happened in the past

Sadly, my dad has several mental health issues. While growing up, there was more than one occasion of him screaming, yelling, attacking, or just saying insane things. One of my earliest memories involves the police showing up at our house because my mom had locked herself in the bedroom while my dad pounded on the door, demanding she open it. I desperately tried to understand these events and even concluded that there must be something wrong with me. I have no doubt now that my desire to understand his mental illness was the reason I devoted my life to psychology and now healing trauma.

How I moved through it

After loading my bags in the car, I sat down and took a deep breath. What was coming up for me? I replayed the memory and knew it was time to heal this. I acknowledged all of the flight or flight symptoms. My throat felt tight and I knew I had a lot to say. I was safely in my car but I'm a very introverted person and I couldn't make the words come out. I let my adult mind fill in the words my younger self couldn't come up with. It finishing moving out all the energy of wanting to scream and cry I made a soft vooooo sound 3 times (something we do in SE) until I felt my whole body relaxed and a feeling of completion set in.

Conclusion

I knew this little "t" trauma had been resolved when I felt a rush of excitement. Not only had I successfully taken myself through the healing process, but I was also going to use this experience to help others. I'm now sitting calmly on my bed typing this blog post completely unfazed by the silly comment of the cashier. I can replay the memory in my head without feeling anger, pain, or the need to defend against an attack. Not only is it truly over for me but so is the suffering caused by that situation in the past.

I hope this was helpful. Stay tuned for my next post where I dive deeper into what a trigger is and what it is not.

I'm here for you on your journey to resolve trauma symptoms. Let me know in the comments if this story helped you identify a trigger and what questions you have. I'm happy to help!

Much love and many blessings,

Meagan