How do I open up more?

If I had a dollar for every time I wished someone would just show up and give me the recipe for perfection without any pain or risk, I would be a millionaire. If fact, I spent an embarrassing amount of time pretending there was nothing wrong with me before choosing vulnerability and seeking help from coach Christine Hassler who introduced me to Peter Levine and Somatic Experiencing.

If you have had something traumatic happen to you, opening up and being vulnerable can not only feel uncomfortable, if it feel terrifying, even years after the event occurred.

*Please note* If you are still in the early stages of recovering from PTSD or trauma, please skip this post. Your sympathetic nervous system is still on high alert and will do almost anything to keep you from opening up and being vulnerable. Return to this post at a later date.

For those of you who are ready to move forward, I would love to share some tips from my coach Christine.

1. Being vulnerable involves intimacy. In-to-me-see involves allowing other people to fully see us. This includes our scars, imperfections, and feelings.

2. Shame about our scars, imperfections, or feelings often blocks vulnerability.

3. When learning to open back up, choose someone you trust who has the capacity to hold a safe compassionate space for you. This is where a qualified counselor, mental health professional or a trained SE practitioner can make a world of difference.

4. Be gentle with your self. It takes time to learn how to be open again while also keeping your nervous system in it's parasympathetic state.

Please watch her video for an even greater in depth look at vulnerability and let me know what you think below.

Full disclosure, I'm constantly practicing vulnerability. I don't always get it right (it's way easier to shut down and protect myself!) but when I do my relationships deepen, my self confidence grows, and I feel deeply relieved of the pressure to be "perfect".

I'm here for you on your journey back to wholeness.

Much love and many blessings,

Meagan